Memories — Springboard or Anchor?

Everyone is well acquainted with the consuming sensation of intrusive memories. More often than not they are tied to unpleasant events which, instead of fading and being forgotten, return again, filling the soul with a slightly sour, bitter taste.

The approaches of various schools and movements to handle such memories differ. Some urge us to brush them off and try to forget; others insist on revisiting them repeatedly. Yet a very important fact is often overlooked — each time we return in memory to an unpleasant or painful situation, we are seeking justification or consolation for ourselves.

And it is precisely this desire that leads to a loss of strength with each return. It turns out that what “eats” our strength is not so much the memory itself as its motivational tone. The moment one stops trying so hard to justify oneself at any cost, the memory turns from enemy to friend. Then it becomes a return to the situation and drawing its “lesson”, bringing the situation to a logical conclusion and breaking its energetic hold. In doing so, memory is freed from the burden of responsibilities and ties created by the remembered situation.

It is well known how much importance Latin American traditions attach to memories that have been shaped in a particular way — the “review”. We will not delve into an analysis of their techniques now; suffice it to say that for them the “review” is primarily an energetic rather than psychological practice. In this they are, without doubt, effective and successful. Gurdjieff expressed similar ideas — his “returning of debts” is very close in meaning to Castaneda’s “recapitulation”.

From the Magus’s perspective the most important question is why certain memories return. The obvious answer is that the events that recur in memory were at the time “not fully experienced”, not fully integrated, and all they want is to be completed. Therefore, by returning to an event and re-experiencing it, one can bring the meaning of that event to fruition and, instead of losing strength there, gain actualized potential. It is not surprising, then, memory techniques in ancient societies (and not only among American shamans) aimed precisely at ensuring such realization, and thus at freeing one from the obligations imposed by the need for that completion. It is clear that a logical completion of such a cycle of memories — that is, “finishing the unfinished” — was ritual “death”, marking the cycle’s completion. The subsequent “resurrection”, the rebirth, signified the move to the next stage of development. Thus, in northern traditions initiates were buried; in East Asian ones, entombed in caves, with almost literal funeral rites.

In this light it becomes obvious that the Magus’s memories have the principal task of cleansing from “unfinished” actions and events, of purifying one’s being, and, of course, sorting out the bonds created by those events.

However, there is also a great danger: having shed the self-justifying view of events and confronting oneself, with true motives and desires, a person most often encounters a rather unflattering picture that hurts self-esteem. It is known that even a psychoanalyst lacking proper tact and intuition can ruin a patient by revealing the true motives of their behavior. Here it is crucial to understand that memory should not be used to exculpate oneself, nor should it serve for self-flagellation. Its sole primary task should be to complete and release events, aimed at purification and ending the drain on one’s strength. Actions and events should not be perceived as “bad” or “good”; they are seen as needing personal completion — and specifically personal completion. That is, the motive should be: “since I have set out on this Way, I must follow it to its end.” The problems revealed are not a reason for regret but a guide to action. Any attempt to evade responsibility (“it wasn’t me”, “I didn’t fall, I was pushed”, etc.) risks repeating the problems, snowballing them and causing an avalanche.

So, regardless of which tradition a person adheres to, the need for a psychological “return” to the key events of their life is evident: it provides logical completion of the cycle of their existence and prepares them for transition to the next stage of being.